Doggerel and Catapus

Vandenberg Weather Report

Somewhere it is sunny,
and somewhere it is warm.
But not on dear old Vandenberg.
(which is, of course, the norm)

Some where it is clear,
and somewhere it is hot.
But here on good old Vandenberg,
I must confess, it's not

Dog vs Gardener

Round 1
You say it's a lawn
I say it's for holes
there may not be any way
to reconcile our goals

Round 2
You say it's a bed for flowers
I say: One for dogs.
Settling this issue
is as hard as herding frogs


A cautionary verse warning parents
against the temptation of storing
the children for the off-season:

Please do not attempt to store
your children in this Christmas chest
For if they're stuck and can not breathe
then we would all be quite distressed.

(Inspired by the above warning sticker
on a Christmas plastic utility tub)

Swamp Dog

Our dog is a Swamp dog
She's not a Circumstance-and-Pomp dog.

Our dog is a Goat dog
She's not a Swimming-in-the-Moat dog

Cat games

I'm a growly doggy
playing with the cat.

She makes hissy noises
what do you think of that!

Discount Tropical Fish

Discount tropical fish
from distant tropical climes
they have excellent taste
with tartar sauce and limes

Cat Magic for Opening the Refrigerator

Open, open, open
give me yummy food.

I am very hungry
(forgive me if I'm rude)

Parsley and Sage Advice

Which is better Grasshopper?
Ceaseless change
or changeless cease?

Lost final verse of "Spider Saga"

back came the rain
and washed away the sun

this dubious arachnid song
mercifully, is done

Here we go a-doggeling
To the tune of 'Here we go a wassailing':

Oh here we go a-doggeling amidst the pouring rain
And here we go a-doggeling outside and wet again

Muddy paws, dripping tail;
it's a good day for a snail

The rain soaks us, and makes us,
smell much more like a dog.

Oh please give me a towel to dry;
towel to dry
Oh please give me a towel to dry

(Inspired by a trip to the backyard
during the first rainstorm of the year)
If you have been disturbed by this,
perhaps the following will prove unsettling as well

Cat and Dog Essay

Words, Words, Words, Yeah