EULA text: Explorer Users Must Shave Legs

Previously unread sections reveal restrictions on use of popular Browser

Last week, long time Microsoft Explorer user, Martin Stein finally got around to reading the end user license agreement he has been agreeing to for years. What he found was disturbing. According to the text of the end user agreement all users must shave their legs and are prohibited from wearing underwear. Additionally, to aid compliance enforcement, users in Cupertino, California, the justice department, and employees of some Canadian radio stations are required wear skirts and stand on their heads.

Microsoft legal representatives say the terms have been a part of all Explorer end user agreements since the product was introduced. "Originally we put it in just to see if anybody ever read the agreement, but recently we've added more restrictive clauses whenever somebody annoys us."

Microsoft officials have known for years that even users that read any of the agreement, stop before scrolling twice. Most software end user agreements are carefully worded to stupefy the reader in the first few paragraphs. "After the first five paragraphs, you can put in anything you want" Apparently Stein is the first person to have actually read the whole agreement. Since user behavior focus groups for the explorer product indicate that Explorer users never read end user agreements, Microsoft lawyers hold that Mr. Stein is not actually a Explorer user, but is merely passing himself off as one. Microsoft is considering modifying future EULAs to expressly prohibit reading the text of the agreement. The proposed new text would appear somewhere near the end of the amended end user agreement.